Last week I was in Vegas with 10 sassy females aka. Bauders Broads for my sista’s Stagette and after a whirlwind of a trip we made it back home somehow in one piece. A little worn down and rough around the edges, but we’ve recovered slowly while looking absolutely fabulous so all is well.
Here’s how it all went down… It’s a ride.. Ya ready… Limoed our way to the MGM Grand and settled in quickly. Went poolside.. sigh. sun. slushy drinks. sigh.. What’s that? Gag. Choke. Who freakin knew tobacco smoke was going to be everywhere I turned? Even at the pool. There was no escaping it unless I was in my room. Thank God it was a non smoking room. Ugh, could you imagine how bad the smell of the musty smoke filled walls in one of their smoking rooms would reek? Sick dude. Sick.
So there’s this club called Taboo that we hit the first night. Funnnnnn music… my man Tommy Boy was throwin’ down some seriously sexy records and we jammed on the dance floor til we shut the club down. Initially before we settled on a cool spot to rock out and dance baby dance, we moved about the club’s dance floor on a search for a good local. Due to these roped off square spaces in the middle of the dance floor for losers that lay down hundreds of dollahs for a bottle, there was nary a spot to actually bust out and show some dance skills. As my girls and I (feather boa’s and all) tucked in beside one of these couches to stake out our spot this woman started pushing at me to get out of her space. This ridiculous behavior from this woman was seriously laughable. I was almost embarrassed for her because she was acting like the bully at the playground. Hilarious. Still I stood my ground and I did my best to kill her with kindness as is my rule of thumb. Suddenly I get this bouncer guy at my back telling me to get behind the line of the couches so that I was inches away from her. FYI: There was no freaking room in the club! In a calm, but direct way I asked him, “Are you serious? I actually have to step over this imaginary line so that this woman has enough space to give this guy a raunchy sex grind? Gross. Nobody in here wants to see them doing that. They were super icky.” The funny thing was that the bouncer showed embarrassment at my comments. I think that’s why later on that evening he let the girls and I have free reign on the dance floor and all the platforms. I will elaborate later about the lame elitism bullshit class system that is all around Vegas. Ick. Still we had a wicked night because we always have fun no matter what. We also saw all sorts of characters in there like the Judge Nigel from “So You Think You Can Dance” who was watching me dance giving me the thumbs up!, but he was more than a little preoccupied with the girl groping him!! Ha ha. Bauders Broads danced till we shut down the club and then we carried on to some other adventures…
Vegas is all about now, easy, fast, fun, bleeding money, shine, drugs, lights, over air conditioned and smoke infested Casino’s, bling, drinksssssss, sex, yehaw, haughty elitism oh and as long as you have your friends around… FUN!!!
Get a life you elitists asses and your “drop $500+ on a bottle to stand in a roped off area” for lame people with no personality, who need to pay money to “seem” and I use that term lightly.. seem to be cool. Don’t get me wrong. I can rock around a roped off area and shimmy my way into anywhere with a charming smile and a hey brotha/sista on my lips. I know who I am and what I can do… However there was the occasional bouncer that just had to throw his weight around a bit, so that was when the girls and I became aware of this pompous elitist bul&%$@ that was everywhere in Vegasland!!! Still we didn’t let it get us down. We just stepped on it and smiled.
Alas the morning came round and before we made our way to back to the pool we went for a quick shop at Caesar’s Palace. Wow, impressive building and scenery however at the end of the day you walk out of these big Casino’s and you realize that Vegas is just a mishmash of Casino money madness put into the flavour of theme, desert and ghetto souvenir shops. Once you move past the casino’s edges the money ends. I got the impression that none of these huge casino corporations cared much about the quality of life beyond their doors. Once I looked past the facades my eyes were opened to that eco disaster that is Las Vegas.
Let me explain… There’s little or no recycling to be had anywhere in Vegas that I could see and I did look for it! Plastic bottles and the like were being thrown in the garbage everywhere. It killed me a little bit inside with every plastic bottle or recyclable anything I saw tossed in a garbage can not to mention all the cigarette butts everywhere. You’d think these huge casinos would see recycling as just another way to make some money back on their entire drink container’s they’ve already sold and made the money off of. You’d think that recycling would be a no brainer. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be important in Vegas. Something to consider Vegas!! We know the casino’s are making some serious cake so those corporations should step up to the plate and put some dough into going more Green yo!
Between the smoking everywhere, the parking lot of idling cars that the strip becomes on any given day, the constant over-air conditioning, the ‘all you can eat buffets’ that must waste a ton of food, the constant drain of electricity to keep all the lights in Vegas twinkling, and all the un-recycled bottles and plastics Vegas needs an eco-facelift in a major way.
We drove our sexy white limo over to Old Vegas the next evening and trooped around drinking in the lights, the colourful people and these enormously long slushy margarita drinks. I don’t drink much but once the lovely J put one of these into my clutches that was my tipping point. The cool thing was that S & I sat down and breathed in some pure oxygen at a bar for 10 minutes that night and I think that’s what kept me from feeling like death the next morning.
On the ride to Old Vegas our driver drove us over to the famous ‘Welcome to Las Vegas” sign for a tourist picture and on our way back to the MGM we invaded Circus Circus to get a picture taken by the Carousel Bar (a nod to Fear & Loathing) and as we walked through the casino all of us were struck by how gnarly everyone was in there especially the ones that worked there. I’m really not a mean person I‘m merely explaining what I saw. I know it was probably about 4:30am, which isn’t the prettiest hour but wow! Ok moving on… After we jumped off our limo ship to take a hilarious picture by Treasure Island’s Pirate Ship we headed back to the MGM to find out what was shaking around there. We were shocked to see that everything was closed even Studio 54. After a very late morning party session in our rooms I finally went to sleep only to be waken up a few hours later by the beautiful bride Shannon ordering us to get up to go have some fun. After another shop session around the Miracle Mile Mall we headed to the pool to try to rally for our last night in Vegas. We were all very hung over and hurting from the debauchery and lack of sleep, but we rallied indeed, put on some sparkly outfits and enjoyed the first part of the night watching Cirque De Soleil – Zumanity.
We trooped around New York, New York and made plans to hit another club. LAX was the club we were told to check out first so we sashayed our way past all the lines, went up to the doorman and with Shannon and I arm in arm I threw down something charming. After the doorman said he could “smell the maple syrup on us” he laughed and pulled back the magic ropes to let us all enter. Ridiculous amount of people were in this club. This was apparently one of the biggest clubs in Vegas and believe me there wasn’t a spare spot in the joint. Once again there were a ton of boxed VIP areas that required a $1000 bottle to be able to hangout in. This place really had no vibe cause everything was dangerously crowded so after I chatted with a really cool New York City off duty cop we opted to find some new digs.
We cruised back home to the MGM Grand and marched through Studio 54 doors to hit the dance floor yet again. This club was a really nice size, good set up and we had room to breath. In seconds I was dancing around the huge dance floor people watching creating vibe. The girls were getting macked on all over the place so it was happening’. I met some charming gentlemen, shared many a laugh with the girls and danced my ass off. I was stoked to realize that I can still out dance anyone. Bring it I say… Bring it! No competition just pure fun. Later on I met a cool dude named G that invited the harem and I up to his Penthouse suite at the MGM to enjoy the view and carry on the party, because once again we shut down the club. As we finished the night drinking Vanilla Vodka and enjoying some sweet Kush as G liked to call it (Long Beach style) the girls and I realized we had officially rocked Vegas. We party like Rockstars because we are what we are. My favorite memory of my time in Vegas will forever be jumping on the pillowy white bed in the Penthouse suite with my Vegas hat rocked to the side and the happy sound of my sista’s laughing after a hard night of making it all happen Vegas style.
The next day I got on the plane with my Vegas hat on and my feather boa wrapped around my neck and in seconds after I sat down I was out like a light.
So much love sista’s. Think reunion!
